Naming is a serious business. Through naming, we give meaning and identity to the matter around us, grouping them into systems we can understand and use to navigate the world. With human beings, few things are as sacred as our name. As the figurehead of our very existence, few things are as foundational to our being as our name.

So it's kind of weird we don't get to choose them. Sure, you could always go through the pain-in-the-a*s process to legally change your name, but for most people we're sort of content to be stuck with whatever name our parents gave us -- for better or worse. So you'd hope your mom and pop gave this thing, this insanely important thing, at least a little bit extra thought in the nine-ish months leading up to your birth.

But, alas, too many people seem far too content to simply throw names at the wall and see which ones stick. This is unfortunate because this means someone's name is going to be, well sticky. And nobody wants that.